Love and Loneliness

I sit at home tonight....alone.

Everything in me wants to feel sorry for myself. It's easier that way. The world is to blame and I am the victim. A sad thing happens to humanity when we feel this isolated- we seek to survive.

One person may want to run into a corner, curl up in a ball and rock themselves gently to sleep. Another person may choose to fight and take companionship by force- or desperate act.

I'm told relationships are hard. I bet they are. I don't have someone constantly challenging me to live a different way and to think of them. I'm told there is wonderful freedom in my current single state. I believe them, I'm just not sure it's better.

I believe one of the greatest truths to life is understanding that although Jesus came to set us free he lived by a greater conviction. Despite his glorious freedom, Jesus chose to give it up in order to love others. Love involves limitations. Not because it demands a laying down of freedom but because by nature some freedoms will become "counter-loving".

For example, if your spouse is anaphylactic then, although you may wish to occasionally indulge in peanuts, you choose to restrict that freedom out of love. It is ironic that in this place of constant sacrifice that we learn how fulfilling it can be to put others first and just why freedom pales in the presence of love. (In fairness to the philosophers/romantics- there is no true love without freedom. While cut from the same cloth, freedom is the foundation, love is the fullest expression). I guess to take this slightly further, the greatest expression of freedom is the ability not to use it. That's what makes love so meaningful.

My point is this. Freedom is great but limitations for the sake of love fulfill freedom. Therefore, tonight, despite my shocking inability to love others well, I'd prefer to be in the shoes of those who have someone to make life hard.