Manhood (at least in some small part)

I kind of want to do two things with this post. I want to have fun but I also want to dig deep. Unfortunately I am not very good at doing both simultaneously. As such my expectation is a catastrophic failure to do both. *wish me luck*

Today, I got asked a great question by one of the kids I teach. He asked me what it looked like to be "a man of God". What Christian male hasn't wondered this at some stage of their life? (probably quite a few but for my sake lets pretend everybody has- interestingly 'pretend' is going to be a bit of a key word in this post).

I do have an answer to that question and it is not as black and white as I once saw it. I used to think being a man of God looked like something. Theologically speaking being a man of God looks like someone- Jesus Christ (for those of you who are not Christians I mean the man rather than the exclamation). This is, of course, an accurate and true statement but not necessarily the most accessible. Yes Jesus was (and still is) a man and he did everything on earth from the place of his humanity rather than his deity but it still feels like being the incarnate Son of God gives you a bit of a leg up. Kind of like being the 17 year old kid playing rugby against 7 year olds... I digress.

There is really two parts to the question of "what does it look like to be a man of God?". The first part is what does it look like to be a man. This is a big question for all males.

My dad stopped living with our family when I was 13. He was still around and was always very supportive but one of the things I remember having to do as I was turning 15, 16 & 17 was figure out what kind of man I wanted to be and what that even meant. I didn't have my dad around for those moments and so I had to find a role model or a mentor to imitate, to learn from. I don't like asking for help (as that makes me weak and needy) and I don't like to make myself vulnerable to people I actually need/want something from (I know! I'm not sure how I'm single either). So I decided I would look at the characteristics that I admired most from people I respected and seek to emulate those character traits. In the end my greatest teachers were literary characters, both fictitious and real.

To pain the picture a little more clearly, these are the men I admired:

• Aragorn (Lord of the Rings)- Man of honour and valour. Lived by his convictions and died for those he believed in. A true man is self-sacrificing.
• Paul the Apostle (The Bible)- Bold, truth-driven and fierce. A man has convictions and stands up for what he believes in. Society does not sway a man, he sways society.
• Philip Yancey (Author)- Reflective, gentle, inquisitive. A man moved by grace understands his reliance and worth in God.
• Brennan Manning (Author and poet)- Broken, poetic, artistic. The brokenness of man reveals the depth of the love of God. A real man is honest, vulnerable and open.
• King David of Israel (The Bible)- Leader, prophet, king, courageous, capability personified. A man after God's own heart- yet an adulterer, murderer, coward and thief. A man is a complex mixture of abilities, gifts and shortcomings. 

These were some of my teachers. To put it more accurately these were the men who helped me transition from a boy to a man.

Unfortunately they all lack one thing- I could never talk to them. I could only identify something in them. To me, Jesus is not the answer to manhood because he was the quintessential man (although true) but because he is always present with us. Jesus is the embodiment of manhood (and femininity also) because he shows us how to live as sons to the one who created us. He takes us back to the one who defines who we are.

Manhood is not about looking like other guys. It's about being who our Father created us to be. I recently read this quote from an author and prophet by the name of Larry Randolph.

"Your ultimate purpose in life is achieved by being true to who you are, not by emulating the qualities you admire in others". 

Manhood is not some objective set of characteristics. Its about growing into the willingness to be known for who we were made to be....and to own it.

Each of the men I admire, I admire because they shine the beauty and purpose that God placed inside them. I am not called to be a king but I do believe I have been called to lead people and I hope to embody the leadership of Aragorn and King David. I may not have the eloquence of Yancey and Manning but I do love to talk about God and create opportunities for people to have an aesthetic experience of God. I do not have the mind and will of Paul but I long to be as single minded and passionate about the causes God would have me fight for. I am Nathan, son of God.