There is a problem with blogging- it's just talk.
It's simply ideals and hopes written down during a person's most magnanimous moments.
It is how a person wants to be seen, heard and thought of.
It doesn't present the fullness of reality.
This is me. Hypocrite, contrast and jilted romantic.
I once (a few times) took great risks to express my heart to people- usually to one that I'd hoped would return the favour. Those experiences are ones of rejection and failure. Sadly these are the keystone experiences that shape my life. They say "once bitten twice shy" and my heart is shy. I don't want it to be. I want to be reckless and abandoned in displays of love for others but I cannot get my experiences and hurt out of the way.
There is a problem with blogging- it's just talk.
It's simply ideals and hopes written down during a person's most magnanimous moments.
It is how a person wants to be seen, heard and thought of.
It doesn't present the fullness of reality.
This is me. Hypocrite, contrast and jilted romantic.
Drawing Hands
M. C. Escher
Friday 13 January 2017
Friday 6 January 2017
Brennan Manning
My mum is a wise woman. She has guided me spiritually for most of my life and her steadfastness and belief in me is humbling. I share this because she has done it again.
For Christmas she bought me (amongst other things) a book. She bought me the final book by my favourite christian author- Brennan Manning. I have simply read the foreword and a few reader testimonies and I am already in tears. Manning is one of my spiritual heroes. He was a catholic priest who married, divorced, spent time living in solitude in a cave in Spain, preached boldly, wrote beautifully, was a lifelong alcoholic and a deeply intense lover and follower of God.
He is my spiritual hero for almost none of those reasons though. He is my spiritual hero because despite all of his many and vast shortcomings, he never hid them from people and always accepted God's amazing grace and love for him. His willingness to always get back up after being knocked down (often by his own compulsions) inspires me more greatly than you could know. I am inspired by the fact that he always did it through honesty and transparency.
Brennan Manning was under no illusions- God is greatly kind, greatly just and greatly to be praised.
I think Manning understood one key thing about God- his worthiness of God's love was never in question- he was always worthy.
It made me think of a scenario that sometimes plays across my mind. In the book of Job, God and Satan appear to be playing a cosmic betting game (like poker to my mind). Satan comes to God and says (I'm using artistic licence here) "if you let me kill Job's livestock he will turn his back on you" to which God says "I bet you he won't". It's like Satan and God are having a bet about the heart and character of Job.
Like with all bets, things of value are placed into the centre of the table to be used as collateral. The way Brennan tells his story, it was like God and Satan were betting to see what kind of man he was. The thing that caused God to win, however, was that he never placed the key/defining chip into the pot.
Though his character struggled. Though his behaviours constantly failed. Though his desires betrayed him, Manning always got back up because he knew one thing:
For Christmas she bought me (amongst other things) a book. She bought me the final book by my favourite christian author- Brennan Manning. I have simply read the foreword and a few reader testimonies and I am already in tears. Manning is one of my spiritual heroes. He was a catholic priest who married, divorced, spent time living in solitude in a cave in Spain, preached boldly, wrote beautifully, was a lifelong alcoholic and a deeply intense lover and follower of God.
He is my spiritual hero for almost none of those reasons though. He is my spiritual hero because despite all of his many and vast shortcomings, he never hid them from people and always accepted God's amazing grace and love for him. His willingness to always get back up after being knocked down (often by his own compulsions) inspires me more greatly than you could know. I am inspired by the fact that he always did it through honesty and transparency.
Brennan Manning was under no illusions- God is greatly kind, greatly just and greatly to be praised.
I think Manning understood one key thing about God- his worthiness of God's love was never in question- he was always worthy.
It made me think of a scenario that sometimes plays across my mind. In the book of Job, God and Satan appear to be playing a cosmic betting game (like poker to my mind). Satan comes to God and says (I'm using artistic licence here) "if you let me kill Job's livestock he will turn his back on you" to which God says "I bet you he won't". It's like Satan and God are having a bet about the heart and character of Job.
Like with all bets, things of value are placed into the centre of the table to be used as collateral. The way Brennan tells his story, it was like God and Satan were betting to see what kind of man he was. The thing that caused God to win, however, was that he never placed the key/defining chip into the pot.
It was never bargained and never in question that Brennan Manning was worthy of God's love.
Though his character struggled. Though his behaviours constantly failed. Though his desires betrayed him, Manning always got back up because he knew one thing:
A gracious God could never stop loving him. For, despite all of the other negotiable things of life, it was never on the table.
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