Catharsis

This really is a process of catharsis for me. When you feel isolated (true or not) you need a way to express the thoughts and emotions you feel. This is mine. I partially apologise for that (as I know it is self-indulgent) but at the same time as I said in my first post- this whole process really is for me. I wish I was in a place where it was about communicating ideas but instead it is mostly cathartic.

I've had a few people lie to me lately. "Lie" is a bit harsh but they most certainly weren't honest with me. I have started being able to ask girls out again, which is a massive step forward for me, but instead of just saying "I'm not interested" or "I'm already interested in someone else" I get things like "now is not the right time for me" or "it's too soon". This, of course, would be fine if it were true. Sadly, these statements have been backed up by them simply dating another person a few days later. Please don't misunderstand me- their choices are their own and I respect that I am not going to be a person that every woman wants to date. Rather, my frustration is that I am not given the honour of being told the truth.

Of course it is disappointing (and depending on how invested I am- it hurts) but what is more disappointing and hurtful is that I wasn't deemed to be worthy of being told the truth. I understand they felt that they were sparing me the pain and disappointment but instead they magnified it.

I have said this before on here- you honour me when you tell me the truth (kindly and in love). You don't need to apologise to me for your decisions, you just have to trust me enough to allow me to respect it even if it hurts me.