Wrong?

Have you ever felt as though you were just the wrong person?

I don't mean in the sense where one person feels they should be the opposite gender or where they want to be someone else. I mean in the sense that you just never feel as though you belong to any particular social/people group.

Please understand me correctly, I actually quite like who I am. This feeling comes from a sense of disconnection.

The best way I can put it is this: I feel as though our society values a set of characteristics and attributes that simply I do not possess.

I want to be clear. I am not blaming society, nor am I trying to get people to feel sorry for me. For perfect transparency, I do actually possess some of these qualities- just not in spades. Every time I express these qualities I feel as though I am putting on a mask in order to play to societal expectations. I abhor such a game.

Part of me wonders if I end up removing those qualities from my repertoire just because I hate the game more than I want to be liked. Part of me wonders if I hate the game because I find being these qualities incredibly vulnerable and would prefer to paint myself as a plucky, back to the wall outsider who is trying to buck the odds.

Maybe you have felt as though you were the wrong person, but have you stopped to wonder if you feel that way because your own beliefs and thinking have sabotaged your identity?

It turns out, I'm not the wrong person.

I'm just not the person I want myself to be.