Feelings

Feeling.

What an over-hyped experience. It should be called "erratic- the way to become a freaking lunatic".

How do feeling personalities handle such engulfing but changeable things?

At my heart, I am fairly sure I am a feeling personality. At my worst, I am a controlling, thinking personality.

I used to feel a lot. It used to scared me but not in the gut-wrenching, horrifically overpowering way it currently does. I feel as though I am a man standing on a beach as the tidal wave of my emotions sweeps over me. I want to stand strong, be steadfast and respond with thought and insight but instead I get swept up and inevitably vomit my irrational fears over whoever is close enough to hear it.

One minute I'm happy, the next, I'm frustrated. The next, I'm hating life because I can't eat 4000 calories a day and get away with it anymore. I then watch a video of a refugee girl who has lost her father because of war and I cry a little.

It was much easier to just not feel.

It was also incredibly empty, lonely and loveless.

No good thing comes without a cost. No love comes without risk.

I guess it's time to ante up.

Tidal waves and explosive outbursts here I come....I feel like crying right now.